“Don’t you dare read it fucker!” She barked at him. He couldn’t take his head out of that piece of paper.
He was at her place to pick her up for a play. There was quite some time for the play to begin and the theatre wasn’t much far from her place. She came up with the idea of having coffee before they left. Subodh readily agreed to it. It was a small place where she put up. A room and a kitchen. The room had enough space for two beds, for her and her room partner and the kitchen was more of a notched extension of the room with half walls and a doorframe. The space resembled a deluxe room of a two-star hotel, which had been filled with posters, artworks, handicrafts, clothes, sandals, books and all other things that were close to these two girls living within its walls. An exotic fragrance lingered in the room which awakened a mysterious sensuousness deep within him. She guided him to her bed and asked him to be seated till she prepared coffee. He sat on the bed a bit uncomfortably running his eyes over the things around. They fell upon a bright red bra half-stuck out of a drawer besides the mirror. He quickly turned away to look at the books which stood in a pile in the direction laterally opposite to that of the sight.
The fan above him rotated vigourously combating the heat gathering in the room. It led a piece of paper to come down floating at his feet with an unspoken urge to be read. He bent down and picked it up. The alphabets on it seemed like a confluence of free flowing strokes that were a mirror to an unbound mind. They formed words which looked liked vines entangled in each other. He went through each one of them gently touching those lines with his eyes. Sentences assimilated themselves through those words. Subodh gradually sank in the words on that paper as he drifted into reading it with his heart.
It’s just a dew drop
That I want to splash upon you
A little potion
Of my reverie
The gleaming red ball
When in all its splendour
Steps into the vast sheet
Of blindening glitter
I would dissolve unto you
Through my hands
And it in my eyes
Through yours
Yet I think it is much
But still a handful
From you
That I ask
No punctuations, no ellipses, no quotes. Just pure sentences with words. Sentences which didn’t end till they were cut off. A few words which had a lot to speak about. Each sentence seemed like a wail of an aggrieved heart. Subodh read it again. It stung him hard within. Every time he looked at her large beautiful eyes, he felt that they had something buried deep within. Each line on that paper was now a step that would let him descend into that depth and reach the mystery that lay shrouded. He wanted to delve deeper into it and touch those silent dark waters inside.
That very moment she caught him reading it.
“Don’t you dare read it fucker!” her sharp words fell upon his unaware ears. He froze for a moment. She almost ran towards him to snatch it away from his hands. He dodged her grasp impulsively. She plunged over him fiercely, as if he was holding a piece of her heart in his hand. He jolted back on the bed by her thrust. His hand extended unknowingly to keep the letter out of her reach. Yet she leaned over and pulled it out of his hand. A stray drop of tear from her eye landed on his cheek. She moved away quickly and stood besides the bed. By the time he could raise himself up, she had frenetically torn that piece of paper into countless bits. She showered those pieces on the road through her window and closed the window tight.
Subodh was about to get off the bed when she approached towards him with eyes drowned in tears and slapped him hard on his cheek. The same cheek where her tear had landed a few moments. As her slap permeated into his cheek, he starkly felt an unusual assimilation of extreme emotions transpire on his cheek. She went into her kitchen sobbing frenetically. He followed her to the door of her kitchen. She stood there leaning on the platform gathering her tears back into herself. She realised his presence at the door and wiped off the remnants of the previous moment with her fingers. Drawing a semicircle below each eye with her index fingers. As if pushing them back into her large eyes.
“Why did you have to read it?... It was personal stuff...” She said to him in a sharp tone.
“I...am sorry” He apologised with an unsure stammer.
She walked to him, placed her hand gently on the cheek she had slapped and caressed it softly. “I’m sorry too...” she said looking at him with her dismal eyes.
Her touch had a soothing calmness to it. It didn’t heal pain. But it absorbed it. It soaked all the pains, the sufferings, the torments into itself and filled their empty space with comfort. Subodh closed his eyes. He wanted to captivate the moment into his eyelids. He wanted to hold all the pleasure that her touch gave him within himself and let it spread through his body. He stood still waiting for it to reach every atom of his being.
With a long breath, he gradually swigged her touch into his body. He opened his eyes in its daze. She stood before him with faint smears of abruptly rubbed off tears below her eyes and a forced smile. He looked guiltily at her for what he had done. Her hand rose up and reached his face. He closed his eyes tight in an anticipation of another slap. Her hand did land on his face, but gently. It held his face softly in its tender grip. He opened his eyes in incomprehension. She was very close to his face. He felt her breath on his neck. This time he closed his eyes involuntarily, dissolving into a blankness. Within that void, he felt two lips gently land on his cheek which had been slapped. They sucked out all his strength, his fears, his ego, his agonies, his poise, his concerns and... his free will.
When they moved away, he was just a statue of what he should’ve been. He was left only with his flesh and blood. Rest all was stolen from him by those lips. This time he didn’t want to open his eyes, but float in the beautiful darkness that surrounded him. He was about to lift himself off the ground when two hands gripped his shirt tight and a head landed on his chest, sinking itself in it. Subodh opened his eyes to the fragrance her hair right below his chin. He felt a warm dampness gather on his shirt. She was trembling with each snivel of her silent weep. His hand unknowingly curled up around her, holding her closer to him. It was his turn to absorb and dissolve her pain.
Someone knocked hard on the door and she hurriedly moved out of his grip, by almost pushing him away gently. But they couldn’t separate. A bond had created between them. Her earring had entangled itself with a button of his shirt.
“Ouch!” It hurt her ear as she pulled herself away from him. Subodh started loosening it from his button’s clutch. The knocking on the door grew harder. He pulled herself away from Subodh harder this time. A part of her earring broke off with a button from Subodh’s shirt. There was a knot between both of them. A full button and a half earring. Two unequal halves.
She ran to the door to open it. Subodh bent down and picked them up. This was the second thing he was picking up without her permission from her room. Last time, he didn’t know he needed one. This time he didn’t think he wanted one. He silently put it in his pocket. He didn’t care whoever the fuck was the door...
When Subodh opened his eyes, tears had gathered in them.
“It’s okay. Don’t stress yourself to delve in further. Some memories are better left with abrupt endings.” Dr. Padhye said gravely. “I think it’s enough for today’s session... Do you wanna go further?” He asked.
Subodh said no with his head. He didn’t want to lose himself through words.
“Okay... then see you next week?” Dr.Padhye asked after a deep breath.
“Don’t know...” Subodh replied with a morose smile.
Dr. Padhye laughed heartily at Subodh’s reply. “Well... it’s your clinic. Drop in whenever you want. Just give me a call before. So that I can tell my wife I’ll be late...”
Subodh looked at his watch out of curiosity. It was eleven thirty at night. Subodh smiled again faintly.
When Subodh was about to leave, Dr. Padhye stopped him.
“Subodh...” He said gathering his stuff from his table. “One suggestion...”
Subodh looked at him inquisitively.
“You can chase the future... But you cannot chase the past... because you can never catch it...” He said looking at Subodh calmly.
***
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Thursday, May 19, 2011
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Chapter 2 - Part 4
“But why now?” Rohan asked mystified.
“Because we don’t know when else...” CEO sighed with his eyes still transfixed on the creek.
“What?” Rohan couldn’t decipher him.
“Because it’s all a sham!” CEO said taking a sip from his glass, “This theory of Physics and all...”
Neither Subodh nor Rohan could untangle the denotation in CEO’s line.
“Theory of Physics?” Rohan asked quizzed.
“Yeah... This electron, proton bullshit...” CEO continued.
Perplexity gathered around the three like thickening mist.
“It’s just a cover.” CEO seemed lost in his story, “They will be testing a high power nuclear explosion there. I have my sources. They say it will be done in controlled environment. But they can’t guarantee anything. You know what can happen if the control equipment fails?...”
There was no answer from Subodh or Rohan.
CEO waited for an answer from them, and then made the revelation himself. “Nothing might survive...”
“Then why are they doing it?” there was an edge of agitation in Rohan’s voice when this question unknowing escaped from his mouth.
“Money my boy... money. If it succeeds, you know what will happen?” CEO said looking at him with a cunning smile.
“What?! More destruction?” Rohan was holding on to the seat tightly as he spoke, his nails dug into it hard.
“No... more money... this research lab run by the European nations will sell this technology to every other nation at an exorbitant price because they will be the only one with it... And once a nation has it... its neighbours and adversaries will need it too... fear psychosis... and finally, every nation will end up possessing it...” CEO was speaking in a distressed tone.
“In spite of the treaty?” Rohan raised a doubt.
“Yes... ” CEO said firmly.
“How?” Rohan was finding it hard to believe.
“Under the cover of nuclear energy... they will set up nuclear power plants in these countries... and an atomic reactor will be built at these placed which will enable them to make nuclear war-heads...”
“Damn!” Rohan squeaked.
“And where do we come into the picture?” The cigarette held between Subodh’s lips made him sound brusque.
“We are funding this whole thing. It’s a biggest risk a bank could ever take. If it does well, we’ll have a major share in all the sales that occur...” CEO explained with a faint streak of exhilaration.
“And if it doesn’t....?”The question was rhetoric. Subodh knew the answer. It was easy to derive, but hard to declare.
“World economy will undergo extreme strain...” The zest in CEO’s earlier line was lost here.
“Depression?” Rohan took a guess.
“Recession” Subodh flung the cigarette butt off the Machan’s edge.
“Whatever it is, would we live to see it?” CEO eyes pointed sharply at Rohan and Subodh.
The conversation paused there, dissolving into a brief span of silence. Three dark silhouettes sat there in silence dabbing their fears with what was left in their glasses.
“I want to play flute...” Rohan sent a wish floating in the silent vacuum that remained stifled amongst the three.
“Play... do it before you can never play again.” CEO said painfully.
Rohan turned and picked up his bag. He put it on his lap and opened it.
“You have it with you now?” Subodh asked in pure surprise.
“Yup. I carry it along every day...” Rohan put his hand into his bag and pulled out a cylindrical case.
CEO smiled looking at it. “Men always carry the pieces of their broken dreams with them...” his smiled morphed into words.
Rohan opened the case, and picked up his flute. He put it to his lips and a sharp note raised to the sky. Gloom of every heart had gathered into it. It touched the clouds, crossed them and went beyond, filling the vast darkness above with it murk. Earth’s ceiling turned darker. It seeped into Subodh's body and swelled inside his heart. He reached for his wallet and took out a broken ear-ring from its inner section. His fingers curled slowly around it. Like a totem he held it in his hands. Tighth. Never to lose it. There was a sudden power cut at the Dhaba as he held it, like an ill-omen that the broken ear-ring had brought. People shouted as the lights went off. The entire ambiance of glitter suddenly disappeared into darkness. Only thing that remained was the sound of Rohan’s flute. It now spread into every bit of darkness that breathed around them. Everything was still. An uncomfortable calm covered the restlessness within everything. Rohan’s flute played like a siren of the obliteration that was getting closer.
* * *
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“Because we don’t know when else...” CEO sighed with his eyes still transfixed on the creek.
“What?” Rohan couldn’t decipher him.
“Because it’s all a sham!” CEO said taking a sip from his glass, “This theory of Physics and all...”
Neither Subodh nor Rohan could untangle the denotation in CEO’s line.
“Theory of Physics?” Rohan asked quizzed.
“Yeah... This electron, proton bullshit...” CEO continued.
Perplexity gathered around the three like thickening mist.
“It’s just a cover.” CEO seemed lost in his story, “They will be testing a high power nuclear explosion there. I have my sources. They say it will be done in controlled environment. But they can’t guarantee anything. You know what can happen if the control equipment fails?...”
There was no answer from Subodh or Rohan.
CEO waited for an answer from them, and then made the revelation himself. “Nothing might survive...”
“Then why are they doing it?” there was an edge of agitation in Rohan’s voice when this question unknowing escaped from his mouth.
“Money my boy... money. If it succeeds, you know what will happen?” CEO said looking at him with a cunning smile.
“What?! More destruction?” Rohan was holding on to the seat tightly as he spoke, his nails dug into it hard.
“No... more money... this research lab run by the European nations will sell this technology to every other nation at an exorbitant price because they will be the only one with it... And once a nation has it... its neighbours and adversaries will need it too... fear psychosis... and finally, every nation will end up possessing it...” CEO was speaking in a distressed tone.
“In spite of the treaty?” Rohan raised a doubt.
“Yes... ” CEO said firmly.
“How?” Rohan was finding it hard to believe.
“Under the cover of nuclear energy... they will set up nuclear power plants in these countries... and an atomic reactor will be built at these placed which will enable them to make nuclear war-heads...”
“Damn!” Rohan squeaked.
“And where do we come into the picture?” The cigarette held between Subodh’s lips made him sound brusque.
“We are funding this whole thing. It’s a biggest risk a bank could ever take. If it does well, we’ll have a major share in all the sales that occur...” CEO explained with a faint streak of exhilaration.
“And if it doesn’t....?”The question was rhetoric. Subodh knew the answer. It was easy to derive, but hard to declare.
“World economy will undergo extreme strain...” The zest in CEO’s earlier line was lost here.
“Depression?” Rohan took a guess.
“Recession” Subodh flung the cigarette butt off the Machan’s edge.
“Whatever it is, would we live to see it?” CEO eyes pointed sharply at Rohan and Subodh.
The conversation paused there, dissolving into a brief span of silence. Three dark silhouettes sat there in silence dabbing their fears with what was left in their glasses.
“I want to play flute...” Rohan sent a wish floating in the silent vacuum that remained stifled amongst the three.
“Play... do it before you can never play again.” CEO said painfully.
Rohan turned and picked up his bag. He put it on his lap and opened it.
“You have it with you now?” Subodh asked in pure surprise.
“Yup. I carry it along every day...” Rohan put his hand into his bag and pulled out a cylindrical case.
CEO smiled looking at it. “Men always carry the pieces of their broken dreams with them...” his smiled morphed into words.
Rohan opened the case, and picked up his flute. He put it to his lips and a sharp note raised to the sky. Gloom of every heart had gathered into it. It touched the clouds, crossed them and went beyond, filling the vast darkness above with it murk. Earth’s ceiling turned darker. It seeped into Subodh's body and swelled inside his heart. He reached for his wallet and took out a broken ear-ring from its inner section. His fingers curled slowly around it. Like a totem he held it in his hands. Tighth. Never to lose it. There was a sudden power cut at the Dhaba as he held it, like an ill-omen that the broken ear-ring had brought. People shouted as the lights went off. The entire ambiance of glitter suddenly disappeared into darkness. Only thing that remained was the sound of Rohan’s flute. It now spread into every bit of darkness that breathed around them. Everything was still. An uncomfortable calm covered the restlessness within everything. Rohan’s flute played like a siren of the obliteration that was getting closer.
* * *
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Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Chapter 2 - Part 3
“It is all a sham!” CEO said taking a sip from his glass of Chivas Regal on the rocks “This theory of Physics and all...”
Subodh sat there clueless with his Rum and Rohan sat bewildered with his beer.
After the meeting, CEO asked Subodh and Rohan to stay back. Once everybody else vacated the conference room, he came up to them, appreciated their effort and casually invited them for a drink in the evening. Before they could say anything, he left the conference room. And before they could escape, he was waiting for them outside the office in his car.
“So... where would you like to go?” He asked as they settled in his car.
Subodh and Rohan looked at each other in confusion.
“Come on... tell me guys... do you know any good place around here?” He attempted to ease out their confusion.
“Sir... there is one I know... It’s a cool place... and if we reach there before eight, we get a drink free on the drink we order... ”, Rohan blurted out of enthusiasm.
CEO smiled at his suggestion and turned to Subodh.
“And you Subodh?... Do you know any good place?” He asked Subodh.
“I know one... but I don’t know if you’d like it...” Subodh replied with a coy smile.
“Aah... that makes me all the more eager to go there...” CEO slipped down a few inches in his seat, sinking himself in it. “Sandeep... Follow his instructions...” he said to his driver, looking at him through the rear view mirror.
An hour later, they were sitting on a Machaan at a Dhaba on the outskirts of the city, facing the creek. Light breeze from the creek touched their faces, soothing the stress contained within their wrinkles and pores. Alcohol ran through their veins, unwinding every muscle in their bodies leisurely alleviating every ache stuffed in them.
Subodh lit a cigarette with CEO’s permission. CEO stretched out his hand for a puff. Subodh passed it over. CEO took a long drag staring at the endlessness of the creek. With a bout of smoke, a question drifted out of his mouth.
“Didn’t you guys wonder... Why I wanted to drink with just two of you?”
“Because you hate us...” Subodh said with an alcohol induced ease.
CEO laughed heartily and turned over to them. “Yeah... I hate you as much as I hate myself” he laughed on.
“I connect you guys very strongly. You come from same background that I do.... You show the same passion... You are equally eager... And your enthusiasm reminds me of my youth...” He kept laughing softly as he unwrapped his nostalgia slowly before them.
Subodh and Rohan looked at each other in incomprehension. CEO returned the cigarette to Subodh. Subodh took a quick drag and passed it on to Rohan.
“There is something I want to tell you boys...” He continued, looking at his glass, meaninglessly dissolving the pieces of ice in the left over scotch. Subodh and Rohan fixed their eyes in anticipation.
“What is the last thing that you want to attain?” He asked.
Subodh and Rohan looked perplexed.
“Something beyond all this career and bullshit... something very higher... or deeper... something that you think would complete your life in true sense... something... which makes you feel that... if you’ve achieved it... you don’t want to achieve anything else in life...”
CEO’s last sentence lingered in Subodh’s head like a daze. He stared into the infinite end of the creek. Far far away. His eyes were moist. He didn’t know if it was the wind blowing into his face or the storm inside that was dampening his eyes. The tears gathered in slowly. They blurred the dark sky and water before his eyes. He closed his eyes to contain it within their enclosure. A soaked darkness clogged his vision. He opened his eyes and saw a woman standing. A quaint familiar figure. She stood with her back at him. Her curly hair pointed at him as wind touched them gently before reaching face. It carried their fragrance with them. The mesmerising scent which never failed to pull Subodh towards her. It infested his soul with an unknown yearning to be close to her. To dissolve himself in her. The wind grew stronger. Subodh closed his eyes to fill that fragrance into every inch of his carcass to live again. He felt alive. He opened his eyes to life. She was nowhere. She had disappeared with the wind. Or dissolved in that fragrance and settled in every bit of him had had just come to life. He kept staring at the blankness, waiting for her to reappear. But she didn’t.
“What happened Subodh?” He heard the CEO call out to him.
“I know what it is...” Subodh replied draped in haze.
“Then this is the time to attain it...” He heard a voice from heaven.
***
Subodh sat there clueless with his Rum and Rohan sat bewildered with his beer.
After the meeting, CEO asked Subodh and Rohan to stay back. Once everybody else vacated the conference room, he came up to them, appreciated their effort and casually invited them for a drink in the evening. Before they could say anything, he left the conference room. And before they could escape, he was waiting for them outside the office in his car.
“So... where would you like to go?” He asked as they settled in his car.
Subodh and Rohan looked at each other in confusion.
“Come on... tell me guys... do you know any good place around here?” He attempted to ease out their confusion.
“Sir... there is one I know... It’s a cool place... and if we reach there before eight, we get a drink free on the drink we order... ”, Rohan blurted out of enthusiasm.
CEO smiled at his suggestion and turned to Subodh.
“And you Subodh?... Do you know any good place?” He asked Subodh.
“I know one... but I don’t know if you’d like it...” Subodh replied with a coy smile.
“Aah... that makes me all the more eager to go there...” CEO slipped down a few inches in his seat, sinking himself in it. “Sandeep... Follow his instructions...” he said to his driver, looking at him through the rear view mirror.
An hour later, they were sitting on a Machaan at a Dhaba on the outskirts of the city, facing the creek. Light breeze from the creek touched their faces, soothing the stress contained within their wrinkles and pores. Alcohol ran through their veins, unwinding every muscle in their bodies leisurely alleviating every ache stuffed in them.
Subodh lit a cigarette with CEO’s permission. CEO stretched out his hand for a puff. Subodh passed it over. CEO took a long drag staring at the endlessness of the creek. With a bout of smoke, a question drifted out of his mouth.
“Didn’t you guys wonder... Why I wanted to drink with just two of you?”
“Because you hate us...” Subodh said with an alcohol induced ease.
CEO laughed heartily and turned over to them. “Yeah... I hate you as much as I hate myself” he laughed on.
“I connect you guys very strongly. You come from same background that I do.... You show the same passion... You are equally eager... And your enthusiasm reminds me of my youth...” He kept laughing softly as he unwrapped his nostalgia slowly before them.
Subodh and Rohan looked at each other in incomprehension. CEO returned the cigarette to Subodh. Subodh took a quick drag and passed it on to Rohan.
“There is something I want to tell you boys...” He continued, looking at his glass, meaninglessly dissolving the pieces of ice in the left over scotch. Subodh and Rohan fixed their eyes in anticipation.
“What is the last thing that you want to attain?” He asked.
Subodh and Rohan looked perplexed.
“Something beyond all this career and bullshit... something very higher... or deeper... something that you think would complete your life in true sense... something... which makes you feel that... if you’ve achieved it... you don’t want to achieve anything else in life...”
CEO’s last sentence lingered in Subodh’s head like a daze. He stared into the infinite end of the creek. Far far away. His eyes were moist. He didn’t know if it was the wind blowing into his face or the storm inside that was dampening his eyes. The tears gathered in slowly. They blurred the dark sky and water before his eyes. He closed his eyes to contain it within their enclosure. A soaked darkness clogged his vision. He opened his eyes and saw a woman standing. A quaint familiar figure. She stood with her back at him. Her curly hair pointed at him as wind touched them gently before reaching face. It carried their fragrance with them. The mesmerising scent which never failed to pull Subodh towards her. It infested his soul with an unknown yearning to be close to her. To dissolve himself in her. The wind grew stronger. Subodh closed his eyes to fill that fragrance into every inch of his carcass to live again. He felt alive. He opened his eyes to life. She was nowhere. She had disappeared with the wind. Or dissolved in that fragrance and settled in every bit of him had had just come to life. He kept staring at the blankness, waiting for her to reappear. But she didn’t.
“What happened Subodh?” He heard the CEO call out to him.
“I know what it is...” Subodh replied draped in haze.
“Then this is the time to attain it...” He heard a voice from heaven.
***
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Chapter 2 - Part 2
When Subodh reached the conference room with Rohan, the meeting was about to commence. Every high-official of the Metrobank Corp. had gathered for the meeting.
It was one of those rare meetings in which the conference room looked like a princely court. The India CEO of Metrobank as a king, presiding over it.
“Fuck, we’re late...” Rohan whispered in Subodh’s ear. Suboh unwillingly responded to his concern with a sluggish nod.
They walked towards the two empty chairs on one side of the conference table which were reserved for them. Subodh looked around as he pulled his chair. The room was filled with bodies clad in dark suits and pastel shirts. The stench of their constrained ambitions reached his nose. Gucci and Armanis that they had sprayed on themselves weren’t able to dissolve that stench. Their eyes talked of treachery to each other. Their words resonated with a sounds of ravenousness enveloped in pitiful brutality. None of their smiles were real. Subodh felt his feet tremble when a few of them looked at him and smiled. Like a bunch of unfulfilled hovering evil souls that had settled down on in the room. They were inviting him to shun his live form and join their haunted quest. A strong feeling of unbelonging swelled up inside Subodh. He placed himself on the chairs restraining the discomfort that was sweltering inside him.
“Hello everybody...” CEO began with a phoney smile. Everybody returned him a smile¬¬ except Subodh. If he could, he would’ve shown him a finger. But Subodh held himself back and let him continue with his display of bogus affection.
“It’s nice to meet all of you together...” He smiled again. “I feel like I’m having my last supper...” and he broke out into a fake modulated laughter. All others joined in. Subodh kept staring at his face. Blankly.
“Well, jokes apart... I’ve gathered this meet to discuss something very critical with all of you... And that is the current financial competence of our bank...” He opened the topic gravely, chewing every word to crush it hard under his borrowed niche accent. “That must’ve got you wondering as to why all of a sudden, right in the middle of a financial quarter do I want to assess it... How many of you do?”
None of them raised their hands or voices. They stayed transfixed upon their chairs, with their eyes focussed on the CEO with a pretentious curiosity and consideration. Raising a hand meant putting up your unpreparedness for such occasions on a display. None of the beseated wanted to be caught off-guard. Silence was the smoke-screen behind which they hid their insecurities and inabilities. Insecurity that they would end up displeasing the CEO and inability to consider such a mid-quarter assessment from the CEO a usual thing and foresee it. Except Subodh. His hand had risen a few inches above the table, conveying his inquisition.
“Subodh!... You never disappoint me... This is what impresses me about... You are inquisitive... You have the nerve to ask a question...And persistence to find an answer... I like that.” This time, the smile on CEO’s face was a genuine one. The smile that an archer might have when he discovers that the sharpest of his arrows hasn’t lost its edge yet.
“Well... I would put it this way... it’s time to wear your diving suits... All of us... because now... Metrobank Corp. is jumping into the deep sea to catch sharks...” he let the end of his sentence dissolve in silence.
“I didn’t get you sir...” suddenly of attendees raised a doubt. That’s how the world in which Subodh existed was. If one was appreciated for sneezing, whole hall would end up blasting out their noses. To earn that penny of appreciation, anticipating that it would be a gold coin someday. Here was one more effort to earn that penny.
“Well... I think Subodh did get it... What do you say Subodh?” CEO looked at Subodh with a mischievous glint in his eyes.
“What are we financing sir?” Subodh asked plainly.
CEO smiled heartily “Something very big...”
His words drifted slowly towards Subodh. They traversed between the two like clumsy directionless clouds. Subodh let them pass over. He sat staring at the complimentary writing pad and pencil that lay before him. He picked up the pencil. With a swift stroke, he drew a circle on it. Pressing the tip of the pencil hard on the paper, he traced the circle. The edges of the circle got darker. He continued tracing the circle, turning it into a deep dark ring. Then he filled it with darkness, scribbling lunatically inside it. It resembled a bottomless pit. A pit that his hands had created on that piece of paper. A small gateway to another world. Or probably, another side of the world. It could be a tunnel, which appeared dark and endless, but opened on another side to a land of pure joy and fulfilment. But it seemed unfinished. He had to dig more to reach on that side. He had to go excavating to discover a route to that world. He went on digging. Making it darker with his pencil. Slowly the layer of earth got thinner. He could feel it through his pencil. A few final scrapes, and he would be closer to that life of eternal happiness. He wanted to finish it faster. He wanted to reach that side as early as possible. One final stroke, and the darkness tore open before him, unravelling a strip of brightness that peeped out of it. It was the first glimpse of the universe that he was about to escape into.
He felt a tuck on his elbow. “Subodh... Sir’s asking you something...”
“Huh?” Subodh looked at the voice with astonishment. Rohan was looking worriedly at him. Subodh turned towards the CEO.
“I heard you have made a report on our financial competence...” CEO’s eyes were fixed on Subodh. They were stern and rocky. Like a wall one couldn’t bring down or penetrate.
“Actually... It was Rohan who took more efforts on this report than me... therefore, I would like him to present this report before you instead of me...” Subodh spoke with a slight stammer.
“As long as it is accurate, I don’t have any problem with who presents it...” CEO said in a rigid tone.
“Thank you Sir...” Subodh turned to Rohan immediately after the note of gratitude and whispered in his ear, “Dude... present it! This is your chance. Make it big!” and handed over the memory chip to him.
Rohan looked at Subodh with quizzed gratefulness for few moments. He didn’t want to do it. He felt a strong impulse to see Subodh present it. Yes, he wanted to be Subodh. But not this way. Not when Subodh was dismantling himself purposely into ineffectiveness. He wanted to earn it. Not steal it when Subodh was tossing it into the air.
“Are you prepared Rohan?” CEO’s voice struck them gently.
“Go go go!” Subodh patted Rohan’s back.
“Yes sir!” Rohan said in a choked voice.
Rohan plugged the chip into the SmartProjector and entered the screen full of figures. Subodh stared at him. He looked funny with digits all over him. Maybe he looked the same when stood there. Covered with numbers. The numbers grew over Rohan as he zoomed in on the details. They moved over him as he scrolled the sheets. They went up, down and sideways all over Rohan. Sometimes they settled over him like countless flies, sometimes they crawled over him like a bunch spiders weaving a web over him. When he presented the overview, it looked as if he had emerged out of numbers. Subodh felt an unsullied contentment to see Rohan like that. He was the same couple of years ago. Enthusiastic, enterprising and diligent. Not because he wanted to grow fast, like his counterparts in the corporate world, but he was in an intense hurry to move away from something. He was in a rush to leave things behind. He was on a mission to overcome a bearing. That’s where Rohan differed from him. But still, the vigour was the same. It was time now for Rohan to take over. To fulfil his aspirations. To get covered by numbers.
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It was one of those rare meetings in which the conference room looked like a princely court. The India CEO of Metrobank as a king, presiding over it.
“Fuck, we’re late...” Rohan whispered in Subodh’s ear. Suboh unwillingly responded to his concern with a sluggish nod.
They walked towards the two empty chairs on one side of the conference table which were reserved for them. Subodh looked around as he pulled his chair. The room was filled with bodies clad in dark suits and pastel shirts. The stench of their constrained ambitions reached his nose. Gucci and Armanis that they had sprayed on themselves weren’t able to dissolve that stench. Their eyes talked of treachery to each other. Their words resonated with a sounds of ravenousness enveloped in pitiful brutality. None of their smiles were real. Subodh felt his feet tremble when a few of them looked at him and smiled. Like a bunch of unfulfilled hovering evil souls that had settled down on in the room. They were inviting him to shun his live form and join their haunted quest. A strong feeling of unbelonging swelled up inside Subodh. He placed himself on the chairs restraining the discomfort that was sweltering inside him.
“Hello everybody...” CEO began with a phoney smile. Everybody returned him a smile¬¬ except Subodh. If he could, he would’ve shown him a finger. But Subodh held himself back and let him continue with his display of bogus affection.
“It’s nice to meet all of you together...” He smiled again. “I feel like I’m having my last supper...” and he broke out into a fake modulated laughter. All others joined in. Subodh kept staring at his face. Blankly.
“Well, jokes apart... I’ve gathered this meet to discuss something very critical with all of you... And that is the current financial competence of our bank...” He opened the topic gravely, chewing every word to crush it hard under his borrowed niche accent. “That must’ve got you wondering as to why all of a sudden, right in the middle of a financial quarter do I want to assess it... How many of you do?”
None of them raised their hands or voices. They stayed transfixed upon their chairs, with their eyes focussed on the CEO with a pretentious curiosity and consideration. Raising a hand meant putting up your unpreparedness for such occasions on a display. None of the beseated wanted to be caught off-guard. Silence was the smoke-screen behind which they hid their insecurities and inabilities. Insecurity that they would end up displeasing the CEO and inability to consider such a mid-quarter assessment from the CEO a usual thing and foresee it. Except Subodh. His hand had risen a few inches above the table, conveying his inquisition.
“Subodh!... You never disappoint me... This is what impresses me about... You are inquisitive... You have the nerve to ask a question...And persistence to find an answer... I like that.” This time, the smile on CEO’s face was a genuine one. The smile that an archer might have when he discovers that the sharpest of his arrows hasn’t lost its edge yet.
“Well... I would put it this way... it’s time to wear your diving suits... All of us... because now... Metrobank Corp. is jumping into the deep sea to catch sharks...” he let the end of his sentence dissolve in silence.
“I didn’t get you sir...” suddenly of attendees raised a doubt. That’s how the world in which Subodh existed was. If one was appreciated for sneezing, whole hall would end up blasting out their noses. To earn that penny of appreciation, anticipating that it would be a gold coin someday. Here was one more effort to earn that penny.
“Well... I think Subodh did get it... What do you say Subodh?” CEO looked at Subodh with a mischievous glint in his eyes.
“What are we financing sir?” Subodh asked plainly.
CEO smiled heartily “Something very big...”
His words drifted slowly towards Subodh. They traversed between the two like clumsy directionless clouds. Subodh let them pass over. He sat staring at the complimentary writing pad and pencil that lay before him. He picked up the pencil. With a swift stroke, he drew a circle on it. Pressing the tip of the pencil hard on the paper, he traced the circle. The edges of the circle got darker. He continued tracing the circle, turning it into a deep dark ring. Then he filled it with darkness, scribbling lunatically inside it. It resembled a bottomless pit. A pit that his hands had created on that piece of paper. A small gateway to another world. Or probably, another side of the world. It could be a tunnel, which appeared dark and endless, but opened on another side to a land of pure joy and fulfilment. But it seemed unfinished. He had to dig more to reach on that side. He had to go excavating to discover a route to that world. He went on digging. Making it darker with his pencil. Slowly the layer of earth got thinner. He could feel it through his pencil. A few final scrapes, and he would be closer to that life of eternal happiness. He wanted to finish it faster. He wanted to reach that side as early as possible. One final stroke, and the darkness tore open before him, unravelling a strip of brightness that peeped out of it. It was the first glimpse of the universe that he was about to escape into.
He felt a tuck on his elbow. “Subodh... Sir’s asking you something...”
“Huh?” Subodh looked at the voice with astonishment. Rohan was looking worriedly at him. Subodh turned towards the CEO.
“I heard you have made a report on our financial competence...” CEO’s eyes were fixed on Subodh. They were stern and rocky. Like a wall one couldn’t bring down or penetrate.
“Actually... It was Rohan who took more efforts on this report than me... therefore, I would like him to present this report before you instead of me...” Subodh spoke with a slight stammer.
“As long as it is accurate, I don’t have any problem with who presents it...” CEO said in a rigid tone.
“Thank you Sir...” Subodh turned to Rohan immediately after the note of gratitude and whispered in his ear, “Dude... present it! This is your chance. Make it big!” and handed over the memory chip to him.
Rohan looked at Subodh with quizzed gratefulness for few moments. He didn’t want to do it. He felt a strong impulse to see Subodh present it. Yes, he wanted to be Subodh. But not this way. Not when Subodh was dismantling himself purposely into ineffectiveness. He wanted to earn it. Not steal it when Subodh was tossing it into the air.
“Are you prepared Rohan?” CEO’s voice struck them gently.
“Go go go!” Subodh patted Rohan’s back.
“Yes sir!” Rohan said in a choked voice.
Rohan plugged the chip into the SmartProjector and entered the screen full of figures. Subodh stared at him. He looked funny with digits all over him. Maybe he looked the same when stood there. Covered with numbers. The numbers grew over Rohan as he zoomed in on the details. They moved over him as he scrolled the sheets. They went up, down and sideways all over Rohan. Sometimes they settled over him like countless flies, sometimes they crawled over him like a bunch spiders weaving a web over him. When he presented the overview, it looked as if he had emerged out of numbers. Subodh felt an unsullied contentment to see Rohan like that. He was the same couple of years ago. Enthusiastic, enterprising and diligent. Not because he wanted to grow fast, like his counterparts in the corporate world, but he was in an intense hurry to move away from something. He was in a rush to leave things behind. He was on a mission to overcome a bearing. That’s where Rohan differed from him. But still, the vigour was the same. It was time now for Rohan to take over. To fulfil his aspirations. To get covered by numbers.
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